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Showing posts from March, 2010

"Sugar" was her name

I cannot tell if it is guilt, or the bitter acceptance of my nature that weighs me down this morning. I cannot tell if it is truly my nature, or if I am simply an addict, seeking nourishment in all the wrong places- at all the wrong times. A binge eater .. I fast, famine and feast - devour the fruit before it is ripe - I am left with indigestion. "If only you had waited." Reprimand myself, I fast then بفطر على بصله , coated with chocolate to trick my imagination into thinking it sweet. "But onions are good for you, so what if they smell." Today I wish I were catholic, so I could go to a priest and confess. He would subscribe a few Hail Marys to me and I would be forgiven ... If only I were a believer, I would repent. But is it sin to want - to taste - to eat? And if one does not taste, how would one know ... is the apple mushy or is it firm.... is it even an apple? An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or so they say - but today's apples are packed with hormon